Seinfeld characters and culture
The television show Seinfeld was known for featuring many
characters, each with their own special characteristics. Seinfeld was also responsible for the entering of many terms from
the show into popular culture.
Pseudonyms of main characters
In various plotlines, several of the Seinfeld main characters carried pseudonyms in order to get them out of various sticky situations:
- George Costanza: Art Vandelay; an alias often used by George -- in one instance George tells the unemployment office he is close to getting a job at "Vandelay Industries". The characters encounter a judge named Art Vandelay on the series finale. At one
point George wanted to be known as "T-Bone", but his co-workers at Kruger
Industrial Smoothing nicknamed him "Koko", and later, "Gammy". George revealed that if he
were to be a porn star, his name would be "Buck Naked". Jerry frequently calls George "Biff", referring to the Biff Loman
character in Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman.
- Cosmo Kramer: H. E. Pennypacker; in "The Puerto Rican Day", Kramer poses as Pennypacker, an interested buyer in an apartment
in order to use the bathroom. Kramer appeared as Pennypacker to get revenge on a store, Putumayo, by repricing all the
merchandise in their store with his pricing gun. Another pseudonym was Dr. Peter von Nostrand; he tried to get Elaine's medical
chart to erase the negative comments her doctor had made. Kramer used the name Martin van Nostrand when he auditioned for the
role of himself on the show Jerry. Kramer has also been referred to as "Assman" in reference to the licence plate the
state of New York accidentally gave to him. Other nicknames such as "K-man" were
short-lived.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Kal (or Kel) Varnsen; the
arch-rival of Pennypacker and a wealthy developer/industrialist. Notably, both of them plus Vandelay appear in the episode "The
Puerto Rican Day" (where Jerry's Saab - actually a Saab 900 convertible - is abused). Kal
Varnsen also answered the phone of Vandelay Industries to aid in George's unemployment fraud. "Kal" is the nickname of Jerry's real-life father,
Kalman Seinfeld; "Kal-El" is also Superman's Kryptonian name.
- Elaine Benes: Susie; after a co-worker mistakenly calls her
Susie. Susie was then pawned off by Elaine as a different person so that complaints against Elaine appeared to be against this
employee Susie. Susie was "killed off" when the situation with her co-worker became too complicated.
Secondary characters
- Frank Costanza (played by Jerry Stiller, The King of Queens)
and Estelle Costanza
(played by Estelle Harris):
doting parents of George, who live in Queens.
- Morty Seinfeld (played by Barney Martin): Jerry's dad. He sold
raincoats for 35 years. He hates Velcro--he can't stand the tearing sound. He is also
impeached as condo president when the other board members accuse him of stealing funds to pay for a new Cadillac--even though Jerry actually bought the car for him.
The other residents don't think Jerry has that kind of money, either.
- Helen Seinfeld (played by Liz Sheridan): Jerry's mom. She adores
Jerry and often asks rhetorically, "How could anyone not like him?"
- Newman (played
by Wayne Knight, Third Rock from the Sun): portly, annoying U.S. postal carrier neighbor of Jerry and Kramer's.
While Newman was portrayed as Jerry's arch-nemesis he remained close friends with Kramer. Jerry always greets him with a "Hello,
Newman."
- Mr. Steinbrenner (voice by Larry David, Curb Your
Enthusiasm): George Costanza's boss while working for the Yankees; his face is never shown.
- Kenny Bania (played by Steve Hytner): an unfunny stand-up
comedian who has routines on chocolate drink mixes such as Bosco and Ovaltine. Jerry contributed some material to Bania's
ovaltine routine. He likes to eat at Mendy's.
- Tim Whatley (played by Bryan Cranston, Malcolm in the Middle): a dentist who converted to Judaism
for the jokes, and a re-gifter.
- Bob Sacamano: a friend of Kramer (never shown) who is often referred to
as the source of nutty ideas or inaccurate information.
- Soup Nazi (played by Larry Thomas): based on a real person, a
chef who easily denied customers his delicious soup.
- David Puddy (played by Patrick Warburton, The
Tick): on-again, off-again "religious" boyfriend of Elaine Benes. He wore an 8-ball jacket and enjoyed giving high fives while working as a
salesman in a Saab dealership.
- Uncle Leo (played by Len Lesser): Jerry's unavoidable and annoying
Uncle who always greets Jerry with a hearty "JERRY, HELLO!" His son Jeffrey works for the Parks Department.
- Cousin Jeffrey: Jerry's
never-seen cousin, whom Uncle Leo was always raving about, in Seinfeld. He worked for the NY Parks Department. He once got Jerry
tickets to a Paul Simon concert, and a glasses-less George once claimed to see Jeffrey kissing Jerry's girlfriend. It turned out
to be a horse. Jeffrey was never actually shown.
- J. Peterman (played by John O'Hurley, To Tell the Truth): based on a real person; the eccentric and
loquacious boss of Elaine Benes. He has a long, interesting history that
includes heroin addiction. When Peterman decides to write an autobiography, Kramer tries to sell his stories to him. Later on,
Kramer claims himself to be "the real Peterman," and starts a reality bus tour.
- Jackie Chiles (played by Phil Morris, Wanda at Large): Kramer's erstwhile lawyer, an obvious parody of O.J. Simpson trial lawyer Johnnie Cochran. He's known for using a trio of exclamations in a single sentence. Jackie Chiles even had a
life past the continuation of the TV series: Phil Morris appeared as the character in a few television advertisements.
- Noreen: a friend of Elaine who dated the
high talker. Elaine continuously destroyed Noreen's life until Kramer intervened and urged her to return to the military.
- Lloyd Braun: a long-time associate of George and Jerry, Estelle Costanza
constantly badgered George for not being more like Lloyd. Lloyd used to work for David Dinkins until he passed along Elaine's suggestion that everyone in New York City wear name tags. Dinkins lost the race and Braun had a nervous breakdown. He enjoys "lo meiny"
Chinese chewing gum.
- Justin Pitt: hired Elaine to
tend to his personal needs, such as buying socks. Elaine lost her job with him when his intimates suspected her of planning his
demise in order to secure an unusual employer-to-employee inheritance.
- Jack Clompus: a resident of
Phase Two at the Pines, where Jerry's parents have retired. Jerry gets into a fiasco with him over a "space pen". Jack also accuses Morty of stealing the condo funds to pay for the
Cadillac that Jerry had bought him.
- Babu Bhat: from Pakistan, Jerry
seems to mess up his life at every turn, by giving bad business advice on his restaurant and by not passing on his immigration
notice. Thinks Jerry is a "very, very bad man".
- Crazy Joe Davola:
attacked Kramer, blames Jerry for misfortunes, dated Elaine, depressed that Elaine rejected him, dressed up like the clown from
the opera I Pagliacci.
- Bob Cobb (played by Mark Metcalf, Animal House's Neidermeyer): a conductor who prefers to be called "Maestro" and
has a villa in Tuscany.
- Mickey Abbott: a little person who took various acting gigs with Kramer.
- Poppie: owner of an Italian restaurant who disapproves of abortion, known to not wash
his hands after visiting the bathroom, believes a pizza is a pizza when you put your
fists in the dough, rejects cucumbers as a pizza topping, and peed on Jerry's brand
new couch. The "Poppie couch" turns up in later episodes.
- Lomez: another mysterious friend of Kramer. He is an orthodox
Jew, according to him.
- Susan Ross: ex-fiancée of George,
dies from toxic wedding invitation envelope adhesive. She was a former executive at NBC when Jerry and George were pitching
Jerry. After her death, George is roped into being a trustee for her memorial charity foundation. Susan hates Kramer for
various reasons: In one episode, he drinks some bad milk and throws up on her; in another, Kramer burns down her father's cabin;
and in the last episode in which Susan was alive, Kramer forgets her name (he calls her "Lily").
- Marla the Virgin
(played by Jane Leeves): professional closet organizer who Jerry dates,
trying to bed her, only to lose her to JFK Jr.
- Izzy Mandelbaum (played
by Lloyd Bridges): fellow resident of Jerry's parents in Del Boca Vista
in Florida; head of family-owned Magic Pan restaurants and has a running rivalry with
Jerry.
- The Drake: a mutual friend of main
characters, often referred to with "Gotta love The Drake" or "I hate The Drake." Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer give him and
his bride a big screen TV for a wedding gift, only to find out soon after that they have separated.
- Alec Berg: friend who gives ice hockey tickets to Jerry.
- Sue Ellen Mishke: the
braless wonder, heiress to the Oh
Henry! candy bar fortune.
- Ping: Chinese food delivery boy, who gets struck by Elaine and sues her.
- Mr. Wilhelm (played by Richard Herd): George's superior at the
New York Yankees; also George's brainwashed maid (Tanya)
with the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners.
- Jake Jarmal: author Elaine dated
for a period. Dislikes using exclamation marks. Broke up with
Elaine after she bought Jujy fruits
immediately after hearing he was in a car accident.
Notable one-time characters
- Aldon Benes: Elaine's hard-nose father (played by Lawrence Tierney, Reservoir Dogs'
Joe Cabot), in "The Jacket" (episode # 2.3, February 6, 1991).
- Brody: Kramer's movie pirater friend, packs a gun, eats too much candy.
- Slippery Pete and Schlomo (played by Peter Stormare and Reuven Bar-Yotam): two shady
Slavic fellows that George hires to move his Frogger machine without power being interrupted.
- Meryl (played by Courteney Cox, Friends): Jerry's pretend wife. She is doing this to help Jerry get a discount at the dry cleaners.
- Vegetable Lasagna: European guy, who
sits in the plane seat next to Elaine and Puddy and has to put up with incessant fighting. Named after his food preference on the
plane, even though he insists his name is Magnus.
- Miss Rhode Island (Karen): Jerry dates her, accidentally kills her
doves, forcing her to sing for the talent contest, which goes horribly.
- Bubble Boy: Jerry agrees to visit a boy in a plastic bubble, but finds he is a bratty spoiled kid; George gets in fight over
a typo on a Trivial Pursuit card, when it says the Moops invaded Spain.
- Little Jerry Seinfeld aka 'Little Yerry Seinfeld' at Marceleno's Bodega: Kramer's rooster.
- The Postmaster General (played
by Wilfred Brimley): makes
it clear to Kramer that he cannot not receive postal mail.
- Lt. Bookman (played by Philip Baker Hall): a library cop who
comes after Jerry due to his decades-overdue copy of Henry Miller's
Tropic of Cancer.
- Grossbard: Kramer runs into this old debtor at an airport and tries to collect the money owed.
- Smuckers: a dog that Kramer uses to get medication from a veterinarian for his own cough.
- Farfel: dog that Jerry is stuck taking care of when the owner sitting next to him on the plane has to be rushed to hospital;
barks incessantly.
- Milos: incompetent tennis pro who sells Jerry a $200 tennis racket, offers his wife
to Jerry, and asks him to take a dive in a tennis game.
- Donna Chang: Caucasian woman who people think is Chinese, originally named Changstein.
- Jean-Paul Jean-Paul: a runner from Trinidad and
Tobago.
- Ramon: annoying poolboy at Jerry's former health club.
- Frank Costanza's lawyer (played by Larry David): he doesn't follow trends
and wears a cape. He stops Noreen from committing suicide.
- The Doorman (played by Larry Miller): arrogant doorman of Mr. Pitt's
apartment building tricks Jerry into watching the door for him. He berated Jerry for looking down at him because he was a
doorman, even though Jerry wasn't.
- Stan, the Caddy - Kramer's Senior Tour golf
trainer (played by Armin Shimerman-Quark of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine fame). Missed the cut in the trial of Sue Ellen Mishke.
- Ned Isakoff/Isakov/Isicough/Yzzagof: Elaine's Communist boyfriend, whom she
got blacklisted from Hop Sing's.
- Saddam Hussein lookalike: Jerry and George run into him on the
street, thinking it's the Iraqi dictator. But Saddam's double has a British accent, and as
he gets into his car, he advises George (who had given away his coat in a liquor store) to wear a jacket in cold weather.
- Cheryl Fong: lawyer George starts dating, becomes attracted to Jerry's fake "dark side", winds up suing Elaine on behalf of
her cousin Ping: "She never lose a case. They call her the Terminator.
Hasta la vista, baby!"
- Kevin, Gene, Feldman, and Vargas: The Bizarro Jerry, George, Kramer, and
Newman.
- Sidra (played by Teri Hatcher): Woman who Jerry dates. He becomes
obsessed with whether or not her breasts are real. Though Jerry never gets to find out
for himself, "they are real, and they're spectacular."
- Dolores: Jerry's girlfriend; he doesn't know her name, only that it rhymes with a female body part (his best guess:
"Mulva").
- Tom Pepper, Sandi Robbins, and Michael Barth: the cast members of Jerry, playing Kramer, Elaine and George.
- The Pig-Man: While in the hospital, Kramer is snooping around and comes across what he thinks is a pig man.
- Members of the Houston Astros front office: George has a meeting
with the Astros about the possibility of interleague play. They
always call everyone a "bastard" or "son of a bitch" (George finds out "that's how they talk in the major leagues"). Those terms
get George and Jean-Paul in trouble: Jean-Paul gets kicked out of Elaine's apartment, where he had plans to stay before the New
York Marathon, and Wilhelm catches George yelling into the phone while the Astros front office men are calling from their
plane.
- Members of the New York Mets front office: In a meeting, the Mets
make an offer to George for a vacant front office position at Shea Stadium.
But in order for the Mets to hire George, they tell him the catch: He has to get fired from the Yankees first. In the end, however, despite George's valiant attempts to make Steinbrenner fire him
(although, instead of getting angry over George's antics, The Boss only finds it hilarious and entertaining), Mr. Wilhelm gets
hired by the Mets instead.
- The Assman: A proctologist who has his license plates issued to Kramer by mistake. It is discovered, when Jerry and Kramer
visit the doctor's office, that the real Assman has a practice there. Kramer finds a picture of his boat, with "Assman" written
on the side.
Celebrities who played themselves
- Keith Hernandez: Jerry and George met the Mets player in the locker room of their health club. He is a big fan of Jerry's comedy and he becomes awkwardly
entangled with Elaine and Jerry. Kramer and Newman hate him, though, and they accuse him of spitting on them after a game (Newman
recalls that it was June 22, 1987, Mets/Phillies, in which the Mets blew a
ninth-inning lead and caused the Phillies to rally for the win). They later find out that it was his teammate, relief pitcher
Roger McDowell, who had spit
on them instead. Kramer and Newman apologize to Hernandez, and they help him with his moving. ("The Boyfriend", two-part
episode)
- Jon Voight: he bit Kramer's arm; George thinks he bought a Chrysler convertible owned by him, but
it was really John Voight's car. ("The Mom and Pop Store")
- Marisa Tomei: had a major crush on George while he was engaged to Susan
Ross, because she's attracted to "short, quirky and balding" men. ("The Cadillac", two-part episode)
- Corbin Bernsen: George made a trip with Jerry to appear on
The Tonight Show and he ran into Bernsen there. George tells
him his idea for the perfect L.A. Law episode.
- George Wendt: George also runs into him at The Tonight Show. He
suggests they change the setting of Cheers because "it's enough with the bar
already." Bernsen and Wendt make George the butt of their jokes on The Tonight Show, much to George's dismay.
- Mel Torme: the Velvet Fog himself
sings at a charity fundraiser, when Kramer is mistaken for a mentally challenged person. ("The Jimmy")
- Fred Savage: Kramer runs into the former Wonder Years star at a cafe in Los Angeles, and tries to pitch his
script.
- Raquel Welch: Gets fired by Kramer from the Scarsdale Surprise
play, then cat-fights with Elaine. ("The Summer of George")
- Paul O'Neill: Kramer tells him he has promised a sick boy that
O'Neill will hit two home runs in that day's game. O'Neill gets one home run and a triple with an error, but Kramer insists,
"Come on, Bobby, that's just as good!" ("The Wink")
- Bernie Williams and Derek Jeter: during his tenure as assistant to the Yankees' traveling secretary,
George is temporarily brilliant from lack of sex and teaches them how to hit. ("The Abstinence")
- Danny Tartabull: George
sidetracks his promised appearance on a public television fund raiser to chase down a driver that he (wrongly) thinks gave them
the finger. ("The Pledge Drive")
- Bette Midler: while playing catcher for the softball team from her Broadway show, Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical, Midler is run down by George
on a decisive play at the plate. While she recuperates, Kramer becomes her personal handler and gushes, "You are so freaking
talented!" ("The Understudy")
- Regis Philbin and Kathie Lee Gifford: Kramer appears on their television show to promote his coffee table book about
coffee tables. ("The Opposite")
- Bryant Gumbel - Jerry wears the puffy shirt onto the Today show, and host Gumbel says, "I'm sorry, it is just a very
unusual shirt. It could be kind of a whole new look for you.. you know, you could be kind of like the pirate comedian." ("The Puffy Shirt")
- Jim Fowler: the animal expert and
frequent talk show guest brings a hawk to the Merv Griffin Show set in Kramer's apartment. ("The Merv
Griffin Show")
- Al Roker: the television weatherman swipes Jerry's gyro on the subway while
Elaine is holding a TV Guide with his picture on the cover. ("The
Cigar-Store Indian")
- Rudolph Giuliani: he campaigns for Mayor of New York City with a platform that includes cracking down on frozen yogurt shops that falsely claim their yogurt is non-fat. ("The Non-Fat
Yogurt")
- Pat Cooper: the comedian and
entertainer who sponsored Jerry's membership at the Friar's Club and who readily exposed George as not "being in show business". ("The Friar's Club")
- Candice Bergen: playing herself playing Murphy Brown being given a very good feeling about new secretary Steven Snell (played by Kramer). ("The
Keys")
- David Letterman: talking on the phone to Jerry, telling him he
has been bumped from the show, due to a bad review of his show at his Junior High School Assembly. ("The Abstinence")
- Jay Leno: Jerry and George appear on the Tonight Show, while they are looking for Kramer, who has split for Los Angeles. Jerry is a guest on the
show, and George sits in the audience. ("The Trip," two-part episode)
Celebrities or significant TV actors not playing themselves
- Courteney Cox (Friends), as Meryl ("The Wife")
- Bruce Davison, as Wyck Fayer ("The Foundation", "The Soul Mate", "The
Van Buren Boys")
- Janeane Garofalo, as Jeannie Steinman ("The Invitations", "The
Foundation"), the woman Jerry is briefly engaged to.
- Brad Garrett (Everybody Loves Raymond), as Tony the mechanic ("The Bottle Deposit")
- Teri Hatcher, as Sidra ("The Implant", "The Pilot", "The Finale")
- Jane Leeves (Frasier),
as Marla ("The Virgin", "The Contest", "The Pilot", "The Finale")
- Ben Stein (Win Ben Stein's Money), as lawyer Shellbach ("The Comeback")
- Lauren Graham, as Valerie ("The Millennium")
- Christine Taylor, as Ellen ("The Van Buren Boys")
- Judge Reinhold, as Aaron, the close talker ("The Raincoats")
- Marlee Matlin, as Laura ("The Lip Reader")
Actual people played by others
Actual people who are referenced without making an appearance
- Maya Angelou, as Maya Angelou, the Poet, ("The
Sponge")
- Albert Einstein, as Einstein. ("The Big
Salad")
- Joe DiMaggio, as Joe DiMaggio, and The Yankee Clipper.
("The Note")
- Hernando de Soto (explorer), as de
Soto. ("The Boyfriend, Part 2")
- Neil Simon, as Neil Simon, while characterizing Simon's Chapter Two as a good comedy. ("The Letter")
- Elton John, as Elton. ("The Glasses")
- Woody Allen, as Woody Allen, shooting ("The Alternate Side")
Fictional characters who are referenced without making an appearance
- The Lopper, a.k.a. Headzo, the Denogginizer, Son of Dad ("It's a sort of a catchall"), a fictional serial killer who
Kramer mentions that has been decapitating victims in Riverside park, all of whom bear
some resemblance to Jerry Seinfeld. ("The Frogger")
- The Man in the Park, as fictional by Lt. Martel, and as factual by Kramer. ("The Trip, Part 2")
- Ray McKigney, referenced as factual, who George's hands are only second to when George becomes a hand model. Ray was a
hand model whose hands were so perfect and flawless that he fell in love with his own hand. The muscles of his hand ended up
locking into a claw from overuse, thus ending his career ("The Puffy Shirt")
- Superman (frequently)
- Susie, as factual by Peggy, Elaine and Mr. Peterman, and also as
fictional by Elaine. ("The Susie")
Seinfeld sayings
A few notable expressions from Seinfeld became popular phrases in everyday speech (Seinfeldisms). Among the most
famous:
- anti-dentite - someone who discriminates against dentists, which Kramer accuses Jerry of being.
- baldist - someone who discriminates against bald people, George often being the victim.
- close talker - a person who doesn't understand the concept of personal
space during conversation.
- conjugal visit sex - the second best sex to have, fugitive sex being first and make-up sex being third.
- double-dipper - a person who inserts chip into dip, takes a bite, and unhygenically re-dips the chip, thereby essentially
putting the whole mouth into the dip. George's double-dipping causes a scuffle at a funeral.
- Festivus - a December holiday created by Frank Costanza to counteract the commercialism of those other December
holidays.
- fugitive sex - the one thing better than conjugal visit sex
- "Get Out!!!" - Elaine's trademark line, usually accompanied by pushing someone backwards on the chest
- "Giddyup!" - Kramer's trademark line, as a saying that "it's all good"
- high talker - a person who speaks in an abnormally high pitch, usually to describe a male who sounds like a female.
- in the vault - an expression to indicate a secret, told in confidence, as in don't worry, "it's in the vault."
- "It's not you, it's me" - George claims he invented this famous break-up line.
- low talker - a person who speaks very softly. This can have very adverse effects especially when Jerry was 'low talked' into
wearing a puffy shirt on The Today Show.
- "Hello, Newman" - Jerry's greeting to a certain annoying postal worker.
- "Hello, Vargas" - Kevin's greeting to a certain friendly FedEx
worker, who's the same size as Newman. This was intended as a joke, as Kevin and Vargas share a laugh over it.
- "Hoochie Mama!!" - an exclamation used by Kramer, and ultimately Frank Costanza, in place of "Serenity Now" (see below).
Kramer also uses it to express surpise or awe throughout the series.
- "I was in the pool!!" - George's defense of being seen naked in "The Hamptons" episode. He says it twice, because he was
short-changed from some sort of shrinkage.
- make-up sex - the sex when making up after an argument, which is best type other than conjugal visit sex and fugitive
sex.
- Manssiere or bro - names proposed by Kramer and Frank Costanza for support garments for male breasts.
- man hands - phrase to describe a woman's hands when they are 'less than feminine.'
- master of my domain - used to describe one's fortitude in refraining from sex (including
masturbation).
- queen of the castle - used to describe woman's (Elaine's) fortitude in refraining from masturbation; feminine form of "master
of my domain." Elaine was queen of the castle until she saw John F. Kennedy Junior in an exercise class.
- mimbo - a male bimbo.
- Moops - a typo for "Moors" on a Trival Pursuit card; seized upon by George to deny the Bubble Boy the win.
- Mulva - the name Jerry guessed for a woman he was dating whose name he couldn't remember, all he knew was that it rhymed with
a part of a woman's anatomy. After she stormed off in a huff because he couldn't remember her name, he realized it was
Dolores.
- "Newman!" - as to identify a single individual being responsible for something, or all, that's bad.
- "No soup for you" - an exclamation used in the event where someone changes his or her mind about giving something to someone
else. The word "soup" may be replaced with the object at hand; the reference to the show
can still be very obvious if the speaker uses the correct tone of voice.
- "Not that there's anything wrong with that" - politically correct standard disclaimer, used to indicate that while one was
not homosexual, one did not particularly disapprove of it.
- "pretty big matzoh ball" - the
phrase "I love you" when said and unreturned hangs out there like a matzoh ball.
- regift/regifter - take a (usually undesirable) present given to you, and give to someone else.
- "Serenity now!" - something that George's father Frank paradoxically yells as a mantra to calm down. Unfortunately, when one
uses the "serenity now" method of anger management, the person swallows the anger until it reaches a critical level and he or she
explodes. Lloyd Braun claims that this is how he was driven insane: "Serenity now. Insanity later."
- Sexual camel - someone who can go long periods between sex
- Shiksappeal - someone who is appealing, but non-Jewish; a play on Yiddish word shiksa.
- Schmoopie - nauseatingly sweet term of affection used by couples for each other, as in "I love you, Schmoopie!" Jerry uses it
with a girlfriend, to George and Elaine's disgust.
- shrinkage - the shrinking of a man's (specifically George Costanza) penis in cold
water. "Like a frightened turtle," as Jerry says.
- slip one past the goalie - to impregnate a woman, as phrased by Jerry in response to Kramer's lament that he had never done
it.
- soup nazi - a person who would often need to say: "No soup for you!"
- spongeworthy - that a potential sexual partner is particularly attractive; in the original episodes, being "spongeworthy"
meant Elaine was willing to use one of her limited supply of (no longer produced) contraceptive sponges with this person.
- Stopping short - the technique of a driver who slams on the brakes in the car, in order to get a cheap feel of the person in
the passenger seat. Frank Costanza was the master.
- that'll be ... five ... ten ... minutes - to put off those who are in waiting, such as for a free table in a restaurant, for
what overtly appears a moderate duration, but with the effect or even the intention not to eventually end their wait at all.
- "That's a shame" - a line Jerry frequently uses to describe a very bad situation. George sometimes says it, too. Kramer uses
the line in an episode where he and Jerry switch apartments and personalities.
- "These pretzels are making me thirsty" - a line Kramer was to say in a Woody
Allen movie; all four characters practiced saying the line in different ways. It ended up getting cut from the movie. Later
used as a filler phrase when irritated or nervous, and at a loss for words.
- the jimmy leg - a condition that people have when their leg undergoes spasms while sleeping causing his/her significant other
to lose sleep. This condition may cause a couple to sleep in different beds; Frank and Estelle Costanza resorted to sleeping in
twin beds as a result of her jimmy arm.
- the move - Jerry has a complicated special move he uses during intercourse. It ends with a swirl. George was able to master
the move only with crib notes (which got him in trouble)
- the old switcheroo - George mistakenly uses this phrase as applying to when someone has done something to you, you do the
same thing to them. Jerry explains that George is thinking of "what is good for the goose is good for the gander." George asks,
"What is a gander, anyway?" Jerry answers, "A goose that's had the old switcheroo pulled on it."
- the tap - during sex, to get a tap on the shoulder to cease activities because of subpar performance.
- toe thumbs - one of Jerry's girlfriends had a mysterious "tractor story." George suggested she lost her thumbs in a tractor
accident and they grafted her big toes onto her thumbs.
- the twirl - Jerry used to sell umbrellas on the street and claims he invented holding the umbrella open over one's shoulder
and twirling it. The twirl must be done at a certain speed, otherwise the twirler will disorient the customer.
- to get upset - used self-reflectingly as in "George is getting upset!", exclaimed by George Louis Costanza himself.
Self-reflective speech was initially a defining attribute of Jimmy.
- to just ... write it off!! - to use a phrase without instruction.
- to name name(s) - as expression of the ultimate and irredeemable betrayal of an (until then shared) idea, or good; in
referring to the betrayer.
- trifecta - combining sex, watching television, and eating into one activity
- two-face - describes a girl who looks good in one lighting condition, and ugly in another. Also used: "hotsy totsy, hotsy
notsy."
- "yada yada yada" - used largely like "et cetera, et cetera", although in the
original Seinfeld episode it was used to gloss over important details. George had a girlfriend who yada yada'd shoplifting.
Elaine described a bad date - she yada yada'd sex, but she did mention the lobster
bisque.
- "You are so good looking" - a proposed alternative phrase for when someone sneezes, rather than "God bless you."
- "You gotta see the baby!" - annoying phrase muttered by new parents to uninterested friends.
- "You tell that son of a bitch that no Yankee is ever coming to Houston, not as long as you bastards are running things!" -
George Costanza, in response to the Astros' question about their team playing against the Yankees. Upon hearing this, Wilhelm
angrily slams down the phone, and later recommends a hot tub to George.
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