Glen Quagmire
Glen Quagmire is a character from Fox's Family Guy cartoon. He is quite probably the most perverted character ever to make it onto network television. He is voiced by the show's creator and lead writer, Seth MacFarlane. Quagmire's cult following is arguably one of the reasons for the show being recommissioned.
On the show Glen is the next door neighbor and best friend of Peter Griffin (even though Quagmire frequently spies and fantasizes about Peter's wife, Lois). When he is not hanging out with the guys, Quagmire is often seen trying to get with chicks, whether it's a cheesy date with an unlucky woman or some form of a blowup doll. It's been suggested that he is not above rape and he seems to have little long-term affection for women. When one of his partners casually asked what he did for a living after waking up in bed beside him, Quagmire happily responded by saying "I've got a question for you: why are you still here!"
He has built up a resistance to Mace, due to it being used on him so often. His penis has been caught in unusual places so often that when he calls 911 he might say something like "Yeah, it's in a window this time."
Quagmire's house is ahead of its time and has multiple electronic advancements, including a full revolving bar inside so he never has to go to a bar to pick up chicks.
Despite his sex-crazed nature Quagmire is portrayed as generally upbeat and high in spirits. Despite many crushing defeats, he never gives up.
Quotes
- Alllllright.
- Giggidy giggidy giggidy!
- I felt guilty once but she woke up half way through.
- Wait, hold the phone, you took me away from a swedish girly girl and her paralyzed but trusting cousin for this?
- (While talking to two women at a lesbian bar) So, you ladies ever been penetrated?
- Face it Peter, you're an easy mark. You couldn't be more of a sucker if you were wrapped in plastic with a stick coming out of your ass.
- Well hello lips, legs, breasts, and ass!
- Let's blow this sausage fest and hit the international house of tail.
- Hey, Pedro, we're heading down to The Drunken Clam for a couple of beers, and I'm gonna shake the lady tree and see what falls out.
- Here's to The Drunken Clam, boys, where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I
- Hey ladies, I don't want to come between you... or do I?
- Hey baby, are you a parking ticket, because you got fine written all over you.
- If I could rearrange the dictionary I'd put U and I together
- (On walking in on a nude Peter and Lois) Hey Peter, Lois, whoa..... You guys got a towel?
- (On answering the door almost naked) Hey, sorry Lois. I didn't mean to point
- (On finding a cheerleader tied up in the mens' bathroom) Dear Diary.. Jackpot!
- Hey everybody, I was just jerki....ed out of a sound sleep.
- (When talking to somebody he thought was a woman) Quagmire: WHOA! transvestite! BACK OFF!(suddenly calm) Wait a minute, pre-op or post-op?. Other person: Pre-op. Quagmire: WHOA! Transvestite! BACK OFF!
