Chewbacca Defense

The Chewbacca Defense is a satirical term for any legal strategy that seeks to overwhelm its audience with nonsensical arguments and thus confuse them into failing to take account of the opposing arguments and, ultimately, to reject them. It is thus a kind of logical fallacy, specifically a red herring fallacy and non sequitur similar to argumentum ad nauseam.

The term originated in the animated television series South Park. In its typically poignant style, the show satirized real-life lawyer Johnnie Cochran's closing argument defending O.J. Simpson in his murder trial.

Explanation

Spoiler warning: Plot or ending details follow.

In the South Park episode, Johnnie Cochran repeatedly wins legal cases by arguing that:

1. The Star Wars character Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor, which doesn't make sense;
2. Talking about Chewbacca in a totally unrelated trial doesn't make sense;
3. None of this makes any sense; and
4. If it doesn't make sense, the jury must acquit.

This parodies Cochran's defense in the O.J. Simpson trial, which many people believe was intended to distract the jury from damning evidence by overwhelming them with irrelevant information. The parody also refers to a famous line from Cochran's closing statement, in which he repeatedly proclaimed, "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit", referring to a glove that was a piece of evidence in the trial. The glove was supposedly worn by the murderer as he committed the crimes, yet was too small for Simpson's hand (the prosecution claimed it had shrunk after being soaked in the victims' blood).

Origin

The term Chewbacca Defense was first used in the South Park episode "Chef Aid," which premiered on October 7, 1998 as the fourteenth episode of the second season.

Spoiler warning: Plot or ending details follow.

In the episode, Johnnie Cochran defends a "major record company" against copyright violation charges by regular series character Chef—that the (fictional) song "Stinky Britches" by Alanis Morissette was in fact originally written by Chef, a claim that the story makes obvious to the viewer and is supported by reasonable evidence.

In response, Cochran resorts to his "famous" Chewbacca Defense, which he "used during the Simpson trial", according to another South Park character.

Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote "Stinky Britches" ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself!

But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: This [pointing to a picture of Chewbacca] is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee—an eight foot tall Wookiee—want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!

But more important, you have to ask yourself, what does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!

Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense!

And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.

If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

In the South Park episode, Cochran's use of this defense is so successful that the jury finds Chef guilty of "harassing a major record label" and sets his punishment as either a two million dollar fine to be paid within twenty-four hours or, failing that, eight million years in prison.

Ultimately a "Chef Aid" benefit concert is organized to raise money for Chef to hire Johnie Cochran for his defense. The concert (a parody of Live Aid) features his old showbiz friends—Elton John, Ozzy Osbourne, and others (the real-life artists recorded songs for the episode and accompanying album). In the concert Johnnie Cochran experiences a change of heart, decides to represent Chef for free and again successfully uses the Chewbacca defense, this time to acquit Chef and make the record company acknowledge his authorship.

Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, you must now decide whether to reverse the decision for my client Chef. I know he seems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen... [pulling down a diagram of Chewbacca] This is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one moment—that does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a man's life is on the line? Why? I'll tell you why: I don't know.

It does not make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit!

[pulling a monkey out of his pocket] Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey! [one juror's head explodes]

Usage

The term Chewbacca Defense is used on many weblogs and Internet discussion forums, especially ones that often feature legal issues. Slashdot is one such example, where the Chewbacca Defense has been occasionally mentioned in discussion of legal affairs where the poster feels the legal arguments make no sense. As of August 2004 the most common targets on Slashdot are Microsoft, SCO, and the RIAA. (See , , , , ).

See also

• Slashdot subculture

Note on the incorrect usage of Star Wars terminology

It is perhaps worth noting parenthetically that in the Star Wars series, Chewbacca (a Wookiee) does not in fact live on Endor. In fact, the Ewoks themselves live not on the planet Endor, but on a "forest moon" of it.

In early drafts of Return of the Jedi, the second Death Star was built in orbit around Kashyyyk, the tree-covered planet of the Wookiees. However, budget constraints at the time led the filmmakers instead to create the Ewoks (note that the word "Ewok" is "Wookiee" with the last syllable placed at the beginning).

It should also be noted that Chewbacca is in fact not from Kashyyyk, but was a slave in the spice mines until Han Solo rescued him.