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Love has many meanings in English. It can mean an intense feeling of affection, an emotion or emotional state.
It can mean to act in a way which considers someone else's needs as equal or more important than your own. It can also be used to describe a feeling of attraction towards a person in a romantic and/or physical sense. This is sometimes called romantic love to distinguish it from affection between family members or friends or between human beings and their pets. Love is also a deep liking for something (anything). Special love is a special affection for someone or something, a feeling or emotion. Unhealthy love is the sharing or desire to share something which would not be good for you or the object of your desire.
Various different types of love exist. Dignity is a self-love. Friendship is a simple love. Family can be a lifetime of love. You can love by helping your neighbour. Anything you share is love. You can share time, goals, problems, activities. You can love your children or parents. You can love for a lifetime, or you can show a little loving friendship for a moment. Anytime you share something good with another, you are expressing love. That is the commonality. Opinions vary on how to define goodness or good love:
Some languages, such as ancient Greek, are better than the English at distinguishing between the different senses in which the word love is used. For example, ancient Greek has the words philia (love between friends), eros (romantic/sexual love), agape (unconditional, possibly sacrificial/unreciprocated love), and storge (affection/familial love). However, with Greek as with many other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally, and so we can find examples of agape being used with much the same meaning as eros. At the same time the ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo being used with the same meaning as phileo. Hebrew contains the word 'ahava' for 'affection' or 'favour' but most notable is the word 'khesed', which basically combines the meaning of 'affection' and 'compassion' and is sometimes rendered in English as 'loving-kindness'.
Love is one of the most common themes in art. The majority of modern movies have a love story and most pop music is about love.
In an attempt to explain the commonalities and differences of the many types of love, Robert Sternberg has suggested a view of love involving three elements: intimacy, passion and commitment. Different stages and types of love can be explained as different combinations of the three elements. The combinations are listed in the table.
| Liking (Friendship) | intimacy | ||
| Infatuation (Love at first sight) | passion | ||
| Empty love (Charity) | commitment | ||
| Romantic love / Lust | intimacy | passion | |
| Companionate love | intimacy | commitment | |
| Fatuous love (Whirlwind romance) | passion | commitment | |
| Consummate love | intimacy | passion | commitment |
As a person develops their relationship with a loved one over time, the relative strengths of the elements tends to change. Dr. Helen Fisher suggests three main phases of love: lust, attraction and attachment.
Generally love will start off in the lust phase, strong in passion but weak in the other elements. The primarily motivator at this stage is the basic sexual instinct. Appearance, smells and other similar factors play a decisive role in screening potential mates.
However as time passes, the other elements may grow and passion may shrink — this depends upon the individual. So what starts as Infatuation or Empty love may well develop into one of the fuller types of love. At the attraction stage the person concentrates his affection on a single mate and fidelity becomes important. Although humans are not sexually monogamous, we are usually emotionally monogamous and can only be in love with one person at a time.
Likewise when a person has known a loved one for a long time, he develops a deeper attachment to his partner. According to current scientific understanding of love, this transition from attraction to attachment phase usually happens in about 30 months. After that passion fades, changing love from Consummate to Companionate, or from Romantic love to Liking. Note that the feeling which Sternberg terms passion is similar to, if not the same as, that termed limerence by Dorothy Tennov. This last stage may last 10-15 years, until the children grow to the teen age, or longer, depending on cultural and other factors. Sternberg states that a relationship based on a single element is less likely to survive than one based on two or more.
Christians believe that love to God and to other people (God's creation, as they see it) are the two most important things in life (the greatest commandment of God, according to Jesus Christ. See The Gospel of Mark chapter 12, verses 28-34 in the Bible). Saint Augustine summarised this when he wrote "Love God, and do as thou wilt".
Many Christian theologists see God as the source of love which is mirrored in humans and their relationships.
The definition of love in Buddhism is: wanting others to be happy. This love is unconditional and it requires a lot of courage and acceptance (including self-acceptance). The "near enemy" of love, or a quality which appears similar, but is more an opposite is: conditional or selfish love. This definition means that 'love' in Buddhism refers to something quite different from the ordinary term of love which is usually about attachment, more or less successful relationships and sex; all of which rarely occur without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to de-tachment and the unselfish interest in others' welfare.
Hindu writers, theologians and philosophers have distinguished nine forms of devotion that they call bhakti e.g. in the Bhagavatha-Purana and according to Tulsidas. The booklet Narada bhakti sutra written by an unknown author distinguishes eleven forms. Not all Hindu sects consider bhakti important.
Judaism employs a wide definition of love, both between people and between man and the Deity. As for the former, the Torah states: "Love your neighbor like yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). As for the latter, one is commanded to love God "with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your possessions" (Deuteronomy 6:5), taken by the Mishnah (a central text of the Jewish oral law) to refer to good deeds, willingness to sacrifice one's life rather than commit certain serious transgressions, willingness to sacrifice all one's possessions and being grateful to the Lord despite adversity (tractate Berachoth 9:5). Rabbinic literature differs how this love can be developed, e.g. by contemplating Divine deeds or witnessing the marvels of nature. As for love between marital partners, this is deemed an essential ingredient to life: "See life with the wife you love" (Ecclesiastes 9:9). The Biblical book Song of Songs is a considered a romantically-phrased metaphor of love between God and his people, but in its plain reading reads like a love song. The 20th century Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequenly quoted as defining love from the Jewish point-of-view as "giving without expecting to take" (from his Michtav me-Eliyahu, vol. 1). Romantic love per se has few echoes in Jewish literature, although the Medieval Rabbi Judah Halevi wrote romantic poetry in Arabic in his younger years (also he appears to have regretted this later).
Different cultures have deified love, typically in both male and female form. Here is a list of the gods and goddesses of love in different mythologies.
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